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Boost for procrastination resistance issues

 
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stellarius
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Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 61
Location: Hopefully the present moment

PostPosted: Tue Jul 28, 2015 5:36 pm    Post subject: Boost for procrastination resistance issues Reply with quote

Hi folks,

I haven't been active here lately. More or less, I've been struggling with this issue for over two years or so now, and though I've gotten better I feel so helpless because it's still there.

I've gotten much insight into what it has to do with. As a child my father was emotionally and physically distant, and I always felt like I'm unworthy and I need to prove my worth by getting good grades and doing good things. This behaviour has continued up until now almost three years ago when I burned out while stressing like an idiot reading for an exam. After that I strongly procrastinated everything and also developed a fear of writing exams. Although I've mostly deconstructed these fears and such, I still procrastinate when it comes to studying for exams. I've tried many methods and I still seem to be here. I thought I had solved it; three weeks ago I was studying three hours a day and I felt really good. But then as the exam closed in, I started getting procrastinating issues again. I don't know if it has to do with me still feeling unworthy or if it's just fear of failure (which if it is, is probably rooted to my inner child fearing he will confirm his own worthlessness), but it's there and I just feel so down. I'm willing to let you help me. I'm willing to change, I'm willing to release the resistance and heal. I'm willing to be worthy of the very best in life.

I never really ask for help, but I feel so hopeless. If you would be so kind as to give a fellow lost soul a boost, I would be forever grateful.


Thank you and god bless,
stellarius
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diogenes
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Joined: 17 May 2012
Posts: 920
Location: Ohio

PostPosted: Tue Jul 28, 2015 6:30 pm    Post subject: Boosting Reply with quote

Boosting.
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"where is the benign, protective supernatural force to counteract the magic falsely attributed to psychopathic freaks who would claim this magnificent planet as their private theme park? John L Lash. Ah Sophia!
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Sensei
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Joined: 24 Jan 2005
Posts: 6660
Location: Here Now. Somewhere Else Later

PostPosted: Tue Jul 28, 2015 11:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Happy to boost you and I will.

(If it makes you feel any better, I have some issues around procrastination lately, now that you mention it.) As a matter of fact I could use a boost for my recent procrastination tendencies as well. If you will boost me on this Stellarius, I would appreciate it. Makes for a tidy karmic package, lol.

The Earth is passing through some unusual energy fields right now.

The Schuman frequency is noticeably fluctuating in some strange ways as well. It is affecting everyone in different ways and may hit one in a personal soft spot. This is very real and some craziness in the general population can be expected.

Don't be too hard on yourself. As a matter of fact, please, go out of your way to be Good to Yourself.

Sєηѕєι

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moreart
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Joined: 31 Jan 2005
Posts: 69

PostPosted: Wed Jul 29, 2015 5:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello Stellarius.

Boosting you!

It sounds strange I know but I am smiling and even chuckling.
So glad you showed up again at this time! Why?

Because I have been procrastinating for at least three years.

Because I've been held back by my own fears.
Fear of failure.
Fear of success due to a false sense of unworthiness.

It is such a relief to know I am not the only one dealing with this kind of stuff..
Thank you Stellarius for this encouragement.

Boosting Sensei too while I'm at it. Goodness knows how much and many times
Sensei and Lena have boosted me!

All the best, everyone.

Les
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stellarius
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Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 61
Location: Hopefully the present moment

PostPosted: Wed Jul 29, 2015 8:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you for your kind boosts. I already feel better.

This is the root of procrastination: fear. Like moreart said it can be different things, but it's usually either fear of failure (because failure would affirm your inner child's fear about not being good enough) and also fear of success (because it would contradict it feeling unworthy). Fear of failure manifests as always thinking about doing something, but having trouble taking the risk. Fear of success manifests as not wanting to think about thet task at all, just ignoring it as much as possible. After all, procrastinating is a way of keeping ourselves from reaching our dreams that we are naturally worthy of.

Boosting you happily in my morning meditation Sensei! Thank you for your wise words. In these times we all need to be good to ourselves.

Will boost you as well moreart, even though I do not know you I can feel you're going through the same process I am.

It seems we are all walking this path together. Stay strong. We all deserve our highest good and it is time to allow ourselves to accept that now with love. Thank you for your kind replies. It's not that I enjoy hearing you having problems, but for a long time I thought I was alone in fighting these issues of fear and unworthiness. It really does feel better that someone else knows how it feels.

I have come up with affirmations for this problem that I now repeat. Inspired heavily by Louise Hay and her books. Perhaps some of you will find them useful.

Quote:
I am willing to release the need to delay my good.
I am worthy of the very best in life and I now lovingly allow myself to accept that.
I deserve to live my dreams.
I am good enough just as I am.
I will always grow, no matter what happens.
I love and approve of myself exactly as I am.


Off to do my morning meditation and boost you guys.

Stay mindful people. We will need it the coming times...

Much love,
Stellarius
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Lena
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Joined: 24 Jan 2005
Posts: 2824
Location: on the right after the big tree

PostPosted: Thu Jul 30, 2015 1:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Affirmations are always good Wink and now I'll give you a favorite quote of mine...

Quote:
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem...first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with assholes"

William Gibson


Lena
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Change happens when we become aware of what we are already doing.

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stellarius
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Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 61
Location: Hopefully the present moment

PostPosted: Sat Aug 01, 2015 9:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I just wanted to update you guys.

After being miserable still for a day I picked up a book, "War of Art" by Steven Pressfield. Inspired me so much that I just started doing things. Overcame the resistance and went to the gym. Overcame the resistance and studied for 4 hour straight. Overcame the resistance and meditated morning and evening. It's only been a few days but I feel as if I've finally learned to deal with this problem the real way. The warrior's way.

See for a long time now I've been waiting for a miracle. Waiting for my "blocks" to disappear so that overnight I would just feel like studying ten hours straight. But in truth, when we wait or think we have to solve something first, that's resistanc as well. Like Steven says in his book, when the artist commits to doing something he loves, he signs up for hell wether he likes it or not. We sign up for despair, self-doubt, and loads of resistance. Just put on your war-boots and get on the battlefield. There is no miracle, there is only the now. Be there, feel the self-doubt, feel the resistance. Love it. Love being miserable. Realize that the fear never goes away, the only thing that goes away is your stressful reaction to it. And then do it.

Thank you all for your boosts! Will continue to boost Sensei and moreart.

Sincerely,
Stellarius
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rainbird
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Joined: 20 Sep 2012
Posts: 232
Location: seattle

PostPosted: Sat Aug 01, 2015 9:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I needed that, Stellarius--thank you.

Rainbird
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